How do I get my haircolor to match my greying roots

by Nancy
(North Carolina)

I am 48-years old and have colored my own hair since I was 24 when I started going grey. I did just the roots every 3 weeks. Seven years ago, I started coloring my naturally very dark brown with between 10 and 25% white hair (just on the top of the head) #93 L'Oreal Feria Candle Glow (aka Light Golden Blonde) because the roots came in so white. The roots didn't look as bad when they started coming in when I used that color. I had to color a miminum of every 3 weeks and probably should have done it at 2 weeks. September 4, 2009 was the last time I colored my own hair using this method. I waited approximately 8 weeks (see uploaded photo) and went to a hairstylist. I explained that I wanted my hair as close to the color of my rooots as she could get it (November 4th). I ended up with beautiful highlights and it didn't look much different to me. I was extremely disappointed (see photos); and it cost $90.00. The next day I called and told her it wasn't what I wanted or expected and went back 2 days later (November 6th, see photos). She colored the underneath of my hair a dark brown (still lighter than my natural color) and the top and sides of my head blonde with temporary (I wanted permanent) silver highlights. Still not what I wanted, but closer to what I expected. I acutally liked it much better. Another $90.00. I waited and went back on Dec 16th (see photos) because she told me she would add more highlights and it would only cost $40.00; it was another $90.00. She didn't add any silver this time; it just looks blonde. My roots are so noticeable to me, that I may as well have saved the money I wasted and just let it grow out looking horrible on it's own. I have another appointment in February that I really don't want to do; but I do want to find a way to get a color that is almost white (similar to the majority of my haircolor that comes in naturally on the top of my head); so I won't have to color it again...ever, maybe. I don't believe I'll ever get what I expect not matter what! I'm going broke and not getting what I want. I've had other experiences in the past where professionals don't give me what I want; even showing them exact photos of what I want my hair to look like and I give up on them. I did better on my own with the L'Oreal Feria I've used the last 7 years; which was the last time I would even deal with a professional stylist. The last time I went to this stylist I even told her that I thought she should use something like Clairol's Extra Light Platinum #323 Professional Creme Toner in conjunction with Clairol Pure White 10 to 40 volume creme developer. I didn't know which she should use, but figured it might give me what I desired. What is the difference between a 10 volume and 40 volume creme developer? Is the developer the color that will be added back after using the creme toner? Or vice-versa? I want a permanent color, closer to what grows out of my head naturally, so it would make it as painless as possible to let it just grow out to whatever color it will be naturally; and to not have to color it at all anymore until my real, natural hair has grown out on it's own. She told me it would probably take 4 years for my hair to grow out and I even told her she could cut it shorter, like to shoulder length to make that happen. She told me she might consider that in another 2 visits or more! So, what I'm wondering since I really have little knowledge of haircoloring is, if I take the chance of coloring my own hair (the part that is currently blonde), leaving the under part dark, what could happen to it if not done correctly? I know it can turn green, purple and other colors perhaps; but is that it? And does the lenght of time I leave it in my hair determine this? Does the color get lighter the longer I leave the toner in? Or the developer? The stylist used foils to do the coloring and highlighting she's done already. Is it safe to use a developer and toner over the foil coloring? Or will my hair burn and fall out? I hope you can help me. This is the only place I've found after looking and looking and looking that I feel might actually help me. I would be ever so grateful! Thank you for your help.